


The only other

by sherlocked221



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Post-The Wrath of Khan, Spoilers, Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2015-08-09
Packaged: 2018-04-13 19:25:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4534266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sherlocked221/pseuds/sherlocked221
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Both Kirk and McCoy are struggling in secret, even though the whole crew can see that something isn't right. They know that no matter what happens, they have each other, but still there's a hole were someone used to be...</p><p> </p><p>(Here's part two if you want it. http://archiveofourown.org/works/4580244 Can be read as a stand alone fic though)</p>
            </blockquote>





	The only other

A heavy sadness loomed over the Enterprise, in each corridor, it hovered like a thick fog above each crew member walking through them. No one dared to walk by Spock’s old quarters as if an unspoken order told them to avoid it at all costs and his science post lay bare, partly because Captain Kirk couldn’t bear to see someone take his place. The Enterprise had been surviving without a first and science officer for days but you couldn’t hear even a whisper in protest, everyone was suffering from this sacrifice.

The Captain could rarely be seen anywhere but on the bridge or tucked away in his own quarters. His orders took longer to process and he was quieter, not the funny, strong man people looked up to before. He didn’t seem comfortable anywhere, fidgeting in his chair or around the inner circle of the bridge. He didn’t want to go back to earth or stay floating on the Enterprise. He just seemed so conflicted in his own thoughts all the time.

And even in Sickbay, it felt bare. Doctor McCoy was no longer the grumpy surgeon that everyone feared to go to for a physical, he was now cold and tired, stayed in his office for much of the day. He barely ate, or at least, no one saw him eat, and only emerged when his shift ended without saying so much as a goodbye to his chief nurse, Christine Chapel. This was the first night she’d watched him leave through dry eyes. Unlike the Doctor, she’d cried all she could. Work kept her too busy to grieve, especially when McCoy wouldn’t treat patients. As the door closed, McCoy on the other side, she wondered what he did all day confined in a tiny space. He must’ve been drowned by his thoughts, remembering his old friend. Christine knew, if she isolated herself, she’d be breaking down over this. Maybe McCoy was, half dying in there, every day.

But McCoy refused to admit that he cried, hiding his tear streaked cheeks and reddening eyes all the way to and from his room every day. But on that particular day, he had noticed Captain Kirk walking, head hung through the next hallway and, in a split second decision, sprinted to join his friend. They walked side by side to the Captain’s quarters as if they’d always done this and, quite naturally, McCoy took a seat on the sofa while Kirk got them both drinks. They both curled up against each arm of the chair and did not look at each other. This was difficult. Neither had any idea what to say. McCoy could feel tears rise up and well in his eyes as the thought that something was missing from this scene. He missed those damn pointed ears and inquisitive expression Spock used to wear. The conversations they all used to have about logic against emotion. McCoy bit his lip and shut his eyes, taking a deep breath and feeling a tear run down his cheek, yet another one. Kirk shot a look at him and tried to catch his gaze but the Doctor had turned his head. It was difficult trying to comfort someone when you’re closer to breaking down. He placed a hand on McCoy’s shoulder and thread it behind his head.

“McCoy.” He breathed, tears catching his throat, “Leonard, please… talk to me.” It was painful, a sharp stab in Kirk’s heart broke off each word as he tried to say them. Now he knew he was going to cry. “At least look at me Len, I can’t bare it.” Finally, McCoy stared forward and sunk into Kirk’s hug, tears now streaming in bucket loads, quicker than he could wipe them away. Kirk, placed his index finger under the doctor’s chin and brought his gaze towards him, lifting his head. He pressed a gentle kiss on his lips, tasting bitter saltiness before pulling away but keeping his forehead against McCoy’s and beginning to cry. There was no holding back anymore, they both just held onto each other and cried all they could, letting that be the way they told the other that they were hurting. The pain both of them felt was unlike anything they’d felt before.

“Jim, I can’t… Part of me is dead without him.” McCoy whispered, burying his face in the Captain’s shoulder. Kirk pressed the tip of his nose into the back of McCoy’s head and ran his fingers through his short dark hair. His other hand was grasping onto the red jacket that the Doctor wore.

“I know… I know. But we have each other. I have you and I love you.”


End file.
